On nights that sit so cold, in thoughts so old

This night won them all as the night that took a toll

On my psyche still so fragile, and emotions so hostile

My mind began to rattle, and prod and poke the hole

The gapping, hollow space in my heart that was the hole

Buried in the depths of my soul

 

And the demons began to bark, and I began to hark

To every disgusting remark, beginning to burn the coal

Of the manifesting obsession that was feeding my depression

And inside my chest deep within the storm began to roll

And within my heart inside the chasm it began to roll

Buried in the depths of my soul

 

My heart twisting and turning, the memories churning

Emotions boiling and burning, of what I once gained extol

Ran away and allocated from my love thought overrated

To be treated like a dog playing loyalty as a role

As though the affection that I gave were only just a role

Directed from the depths of my soul

 

And I curse the beast that thieved, intruded and aggrieved

An evil thing that Hell hath heaved, a monstrous dhole

That if I should slay the world then would obey

The miniscule favor fey but reasonable for my jewel

Beautiful, sunlight topaz with emerald splashes – my jewel

Whom for cries the depths of my soul

 

Though perhaps I am at fault, I put it to a halt

Maybe verbal assault and my loss of control

Caused a gap in between when it began to intervene

And I didn’t move so quick to stop the charging bull

Defeated by the monster that is dog and now bull

Crushing the very depths of my soul

 

Perhaps it was a cruel fate that we’d had an ending date

To end it all and clean the slate and make new as whole

But the plans fell short and I was left cringing, contort

And crawling for a second chance I was too late for he stole

The gem that made my heart continue to beat he stole

And it burns me to the depths of my soul!

 

Rage burns and builds inside and boils as I continue to bide

And for her I cried – almost died – just so I could cajole

For another chance to change the fate that was far too derange

Yet somehow I was drowning in such a pitiful little shoal

Failing, flailing, choking, croaking in the banks of a shoal

Breaking me in the depths of my soul

 

Shattering and scattering the waves begin the battering

The waves of insanity, unflattering, revenge I enroll

Through the caverns of madness, mocking as I slip down the abyss

And in delirium I reminisce, on hysteria’s path I stroll

Oh, on the rocky, dirty, yet so well paved path of mania I stroll

Warping the inner depths of my soul!

 

With desperation and craving, in derangement I begin raving

I plot the downfall of the fiend, finding the scheme becoming my goal

My neurosis breaks free, ‘round the delusion barks like a banshee

And it’ll feed into lunacy control, and ‘round the devise it shall patrol

Oh I promise you the concoction I’ve created will patrol

‘Round and ‘round the depths of my soul!

 

My contemplation is quite clear, think me demented my dear

I promise you are wronged with fear, you simply must loll

So misguided by my euphoria this is more than phantasmagoria

And I will not be held behind and I will break from the parole

The gates of the medication trapping me, the hideous parole

That tries to control the depths of my soul

 

And please if you may, I beg of you to stay

And do not suggest I stop or your plea will be under my sole

I am set on my conviction, my obsession, my addiction

You cannot change my contemplation, don’t console

For I am set upon my ways so you waste your breath to console

Against the willing of the depths of my soul

 

The lurking hours of the eve try its best to reave

But ha! It fails thieve my plot, my control

And it’s sure to be the talk of the humanly flock

Of my rancor requite pursued in the darkest hours I stole

In the aphotic allotment of the day my revenge I stole

To satisfy the depths of my soul!