"Afraid To Speak Up"

People always say to speak up and find a voice. Finding a voice would mean to be myself. Why would I want to be myself? I am a girl who is fighting off her darkside. I hide behind a mask no one can pull off. I cover up my internal pain with a smile. My external pain with covering clothing. People don't see the true me. They don't see the tears, scars or hear my suicidal thoughts. How can someone understand? My heart is a flower, so fragile and easy to break. Do you want me to speak up? Would you understand if I did? Would you care? I'm afraid to find a voice. I'm afraid to be myself.