I've always been the type to push people away

Scared of the blind leading the blind and me leading them astray

Because I was taught one thing and lived another

"Same love" I'd say "we just need to love eachother"

"Gay or straight it doesn't matter"

Try to block out the church and all that chatter

Still sing and prayed just as I was taught

The love of God can't be bought

Not with a fake confession or diluted tears

Being stuck in this was one of my biggest fears

And there I was pretending as if i didn't care

"Why'd he have to choose me this isn't fair"

And finding a true christian girl is rare

You don't have to be perfect no thats not it

As long as you keep striving for it and you don't quit

Because the day I quit is the day I die

I refuse to listen to the devils lie

I won't be stuck in this I'll always try

Always try to resist the devil so that he may flee

I won't be stuck in this sinful box because this isn't me

Break the walls down or open up the door

And my friends aren't aware that every night my knees are glued to the floor

And at the moment I beg for change

And its not that I think that they will look at me strange

I just don't love the spot light

I don't want them to know that I'm in this spiritual fight 

Against myself  and this sin

All because I refuse to give in

And I've been dealing with this for years

That's why looking in the mirror is one of my biggest fears

"What I want to do I don't do"

Because I'm afraid that God will let me have it and say "there you go kid it's all on you"

"This is what you decided to choose over me"

"No more protection. I set you free"

And it'll be too late at that moment when I'm drowning in my tears

All because I put God second to all my fears