i wish i had the rhymes
i wsh i had the words
to convince you of whatever
you need to be convinced of,
except that is not love
and if i predicate everything on
persuading you
i have already lost
because i never won

i want you
but i want it to be genuine
it has to be organic
and not forced,
that is not as easy as it sounds
because there is no amount of compromise
we wouldn’t make
to obtain what we think
will make us happy

but how can we be happy if it is not real?
the fake Ideal is not better
than the authentic Horror,
i would rather live devoured
by miserable dissatisfaction and desire
than live in a fantastical reality

authenticity is the one claim on
the life well lived
and it is better live authentically
but emptily
than in a pleasurable lie,
then we are then no better than
brains in a vat
and everything around is
handling our senses
our neurons are stroked
for the “correct” response  

i got distracted
this poem is not about
existential rebellion
it is about how i love you
and how i want you
and how i want you to want me
not because i want it
but because you do
is that too tall of an order?
i think that is what love is about
and want that with you again.