When he held my hand,
I could not help but feel at home-
safe in his arms.
When he looked into my eyes,
I saw all of the stars laid out before me
in swirling galaxies of my own.
When he smiled,
I could have died then-
content with the world and my part in it.
if nothing else in my meager existence,
that smile had been perfect.
I told him he is worth more
than it all.
He smiled again,
but this one was merely a veneer.
He had not believed me.
The world had ruined him
from true statements.
enchanted him with its false glimmers
of plastic diamonds held to the light.
He did not realize
he was the only true one-
glimmering in the center of their
chandelier of parties and champagne.
He had not realized he was wonderful,
even without the rest.
Every day I wish he had.
For when I returned
I did not see my dear,
my precious one,
waiting for me in his large empty assortment of rooms.
I found the butler shot by the phone
and my love,
my everything right in the world,
lying face down in the pool-
red fanned out across the surrounding water
like the wisps of the willow
we shared our first kiss under.
I can always remember
how cold I felt
the first time since I moved here
in the beginning of this summer.
It was the first day of autumn.