I’ve been sitting in the school library
for what feels like forever.
Going back and forth in my mind trying
to decide what I need to do.
It’s been a little over an hour since
I found out my life would change.
In my bathroom at 6 am, praying to God
that it is just a bad dream.
A tiny pink plus sign has just become
one of my greatest fears.
That same tiny pink plus sign had the
power to bring me to my knees
in silent tears.
I don’t want to go to class, I wish I
could just sit in this library all day.
But what am I so afraid of, I shouldn’t
care what people say.
Even though they will judge me, and
call me all kinds of names.
Despite their ignorance of my struggle,
not realizing that I’m already in pain.
I tried to talk to some of my friends
but they didn’t understand.
They wrote off my comments as jokes
and continued making their plans.
Even my so called “caring” boyfriend
laughed in my face.
He too thought I was playing until he saw
I wasn’t laughing with him.
His smile fell and he dumbly asked
“Well what are you going to do?”
I shook my head in disappointment and
before I walked away said “It’s yours too”
Now the school day is over and the
news has spread around.
And surely by the end of the night,
I will be the talk of our small town.
My mother will be heartbroken and
my father won’t crack a smile.
My “friends” whisper as I pass and
my teachers look at me and frown.
18 years old, bringing a baby in this world,
who on me they will depend.
Trying to make it through senior year
without the support of any family or any friend.
They said it wouldn’t be possible,
they said with no support it couldn’t be done.
But as they look at me cross this stage now,
they see how far I have come.