You have sculpted a loneliness within me that I unknowingly obtained

Perhaps unintentional yet your actions never were

For I cannot resist the temptation to believe there was manipulation behind your words

As the selfishness of your hands and your body overtook the strength of my heart

My body was seen and treated as simply an object of your pleasure

And my heart was disregarded by every empty sentence leaving your lips

And oh your lips

Leaving evidence of the shattered truth I once held onto

As I took to heart the claim you made that you were cautious with the pieces of you that you give away

And you were, as this piece of you was just a mask of a shallow imitation of love and care

You did not give away, you took, and you are taking

You took the control I so desperately attempted to hold onto

You took the security of my identity as a woman with significance and purpose

But once again I circle the mountain that all along I have desired to climb

The scenery is not unfamiliar, yet its presence still remains

It is as if learning from my mistakes is a myth

I have a desperation to bring to reality that each journey around will be the final one

Yet the newly found shattered pieces within me prove the unattainability of that dream

The exhaustion of this journey is unfathomable

It is unknown to you, yet would not be understood even if it was known

As the voices attacking every fiber of my being tell me this will never end

They tell me I am physically desirable and internally tolerable at best

That a desire for my soul and my affection will never be reachable

As around and around I go on this mountain I will never conquer

I have a longing for a new path; surely a new journey

Yet the fear of getting lost and the mystery of the untouched soil holds firm

There is comfortability in my beaten down path

There is an odd and manipulated comfort in the bitterness carried within my repeated journey

There is a fork in the road I repeatedly approach with a choice I once again must make

Where the uncertainty lies and the future appears foggy I see a path

These scars will never heal, yet this journey does not require unstained flesh

One step, one leap, one belief of a light beneath my shadow

One moment, one breath, one path, one journey I must choose to begin