I listen to you two bicker 

from my room 

next door 

 

Arguing over 

Who’s in who’s way 

or if one is looking at the other for too long 

 

and 

past the feeling 

of wanting to knock 

your heads together, 

 

I can’t escape this 

overwhelming 

Normalcy 

 

being an annoyed 

big sister 

never felt right in my head 

 

I was the one 

who changed your diapers 

 

tucked you in 

at night 

 

sang you silly songs and held you until you fell asleep 

 

the person 

who taught 

you how to use the stove 

and 

that fire is both scary and beautiful 

 

to 

remember 

To shout at the moon 

Every chance you got 

 

Tell the stars your secrets 

Instead of diary pages 

 

to steal 

little moments that no one could ever take away from you 

 

I sit here 

still hoping to teach you 

so much more 

 

as your annoyed big sister 

 

the one who won’t tell if you eat in your bedroom 

 

Who would beat any kid 

who looked at you in the wrong way 

 

the one that

shows you the world at three a.m. 

 

Calm, quiet, lonely 

pulling together anyways 

because the universe is kind of like you and me; 

 

put together and falling apart

 

and alive 

in spite of everything