What have you done?

You left us all in the dust,

In the remnants of your storm.

Your typhoon of careless destruction has wrecked a hole in our lives.

It's a bit too late now, and we tried to patch it up.

Even though we both knew that

Sewing on a patch won't make it the same as it had been before.

It will always be unwhole. It can

Never be fully complete anymore, and it's

All because of you.

 

Because of you, I have no confidence, it is fake.

Because of you, I stare at an email I can never send.

Because of what you chose, we´ll never see each other again.

Because of what you´ve done, we can never return.

 

You will be lonely, and I will forever have this tear,

the scar running down the side of my heart.

 

Grandmothers are not supposed to ditch their own.

Grandmothers are not supposed to abandon their grandchildren.

Grandmothers are not supposed to kick their own daughter out of the house.

Grandmothers are not supposed to make their family leave.

Grandmothers are not supposed to be like you were.

 

They're not supposed to ditch them just because

´You're only related by blood.´

My tears flow more often because of you.

They trace down the permanent lines along my face.

I let them fall, because no matter what I do,

I´ll always have the memories.

The remnants of what you did to not only myself, but to all of us.

All I have from you is the horrid memories of when I didn't realize the pain of my family

Until it was too late.

The fragments and snippets of happy times are now and forever diluted,

Washed in a light gray stain.

 

Because of you, I now have things in my head that never should´ve existed.

Because of you, I am unstable.

Because of you, I am seclusive.

Because of you, I have new phobias.

Because of you, I´m afraid to go back to that town.

Because of you, I can't walk down that street.

Because of you, I am afraid of that house.

Because of you, I´m scared of the number 113.

Because of you, I´m afraid of banging and knocks.

Because of you, I'm frightened and kept awake by flashbacks.

 

I believed you for the longest time, and

You have no idea how hard it is to let go.

I had to tear out so many things,

I got rid of your gifts that were wrapped in lies about caring.

You tried to buy my love, but

You probably haven't given us a second thought.

 

We are stuck with the past, and

We are slowly moving on.

We are still taking a few steps forward, then moving back a bit.

 

It's taking longer to go on after what you´ve done.

The flashbacks that we now endure are all your fault.

My family's stress has gotten worse because of you.

What all you did should never happen to anyone.

All that pain and suffering is because of a single person.

You.

Because you were not the grandmother that you should´ve been,

It is all your fault, and I am done with you.