Don't show me sympathy

It isn't right because i'm deep in the creases of scars

Don't color them up with crayons and glitter

Just to tell me that my womanly parts weren’t to be a kid’s

Just to tell me that I have a child-like mind and I need to grow up a little faster

Scars created by you when you had moments of being a monster

Monsters have two sides

You only had one but you developed a new one

Ever since you thought my heartbeat was another ticks of tricks to make you lose your masculinity

 

… And you acted like I did it to myself

Like I held the gun to my own head

you think I broke down crying for you to be a reflection of myself

And instead of placing art forms of clouds onto my scalp

You think I drowned myself with cold water

My cornrows were too deep into your veins

You were too scared to look into the women in your family’s eye

For fear that they see the wrong in you

 

Seeing Velvet flowers purging from the ice

...It made me feel like you could make roses grow on every grave

I pictured you as emerald green pure as the plants and trees

Above muddy pavements

Someone everyone wanted to touch

You were blessed with God’s curls

You gave her your soul in return out of guilt

She gave you the delicate taste of love

And eyes to see ‘cause you were good

Eyes to see the repetition of your actions

That kept hurting your own

 

I wonder what could’ve happen if you didn't lose your soul

Didn’t recreate eugenics into your skull

Those philosophical human beings taught you to blindly fall in love with the Willie Lynch letter

And 200 years made you think nothing of it

 

You treated me with no respect…

The hatred for yourself spewed onto the women in your community

The absence of a mother let you hurt others.

Your dad tried to make you a good man but he wasn't a man himself

I was only there. Present when you needed me.

You gave me flowers that were almost dying, it represented your love for me

And my body was a tune filled with #imsosickoflovesongs

Thank you Neyo

I honestly didn't know that I could self loath again after all the growth I had

Only when I was with you, you put a limit to my happiness

You showed me how far people think a black girl can go when it comes to happiness

Black boy why hurt me and tell me you cant love me

I was Michelle off of Destiny’s Child

I was your back up singer

The sun raised the hairs on my skin

Gold shimmered down my spine

I got use to the atmosphere.

And I tried to become more of what you wanted,

you grouped and compared me to Madeline,Becky, and Sara

Thinking I was going to love it

I was only good for one sided beds and a one sided love  

You're so empty and you did not like it…

Black boy put on your durag

And listen to my wishes coming from streams all connected to one big ocean of momma “Im Sorry”

 

I hope you feel the pain your ancestors felt when families would become separated when the person you love is on another plantation

You could see that ships are still dissing me

Still affecting the people mentally around me  

America still believing that a white man made their lands successful

Like America wasn’t built on the blood and sweat of my people

 

And I know your going through your emotions right now

But I can't stay any longer to see you growing

Because it's going to take you awhile to see that I'm beautiful, my black is beautiful

God only wanted what was best for us, but you forgot that she loved me like she loved you

Uplift me like I did for you