Blood Is Thicker Than Water?

Location

 

Your Mom

She's the one that's always going to be there for you

Whether it's cleaning your scraped knees,

Or mending you heart that got broken

By that jerk that lived down the street

She would do anything for you, right?

Wrong. 


My mom is only there for me when it is convenient for her

My stepdad, stepbrother and stepsister 

Have ALWAYS been above me when it comes to importance in her life

There's that old saying, 
"Blood is thicker than water",

I hate to burst your bubble,

But that's bullshit

My mom, MY BLOOD, 
Who is supposed to love me unconditionally,

Cares so little about me and so much about them


I can't help but let my mind wander;

What's wrong with me?

Why doesn't she love me like she loves them?

What have they done to receive her love that I have not?

For ten years, this is how it's been 

And I sat, waiting and wishing for a change

The ounce of self-esteem that I had worked so damn hard to gain

Evaporated completely

Low and Worthless is what I felt like

Lower than I was even capable of comprehending

My thoughts turned dark

Maybe I'm just useless

My life is just pointless

If my own mother can't love me like she's supposed to

How could I actually be of importance to anyone at all?

My step-dad,

Constantly putting me down

Everything I felt like

Low and Worthless 

And everything in between

He confirmed with his words

Yelling and screaming at me,

That I am nothing

His words were sharp 

Cutting me down every day 
Like the blade of a knife.

My mom,

Pursed her lips,

And watched

Witnessing it all, 

Never saying a word

As if she had suddenly lost her voice

Why do you think I put so much effort into everything I do?

I read and studied through my Friday nights

You'd never catch me at a party,

Drinking out of that red cup

With that liquid poison pumping through my veins

I knew I had to get into a University

So I could get the hell out of here

I knew I had to keep good morals

I knew I had to remain a compassionate being

I didn't do all of it to prove myself to them

No, I did it all for me

To prove to myself,

That I am NOT nothing.

In an insanely twisted way

I would not be a good person

If it wasn't for my mom

I will be nothing like her

I will not be a door mat

Lying around for people to walk all over

I will never treat my children the way I grew up

My children will be loved

Cherished

Encouraged

And they will FEEL like they are

If I was bitter

I would say thanks for nothing mom

But I'm going to be the bigger person,

Just like I have had to be for most of my life,

And say thank-you 

Thank-you mom

For giving me a walking and breathing example

Of what I will never be like

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