Brave Heart

Every time I go to write I find myself pushing back from the pen Suppressing my urge to capture the moment and let it flow My problem is I can't let it go Every minute I waste pondering over the idea Or engaging in self dialogue to mock interview what I wish the other person would've said I regret not letting a little piece of my anxiety go off the page But the festering blister remains This impulse to fight back the tears Hold my tongue from blasphemy Or even choke out the will to scream It boils inside of me I have enough dirty secrets to spill across the page But my obsessive-compulsive ways (like Monk) won't let me This morning I felt it in my heart to write about the hurt and anger a recent lover caused me Instead I diverted my energy into this poem Distracting my spirit from writing about the things I truly care about To write about how bad I am at writing the things I need to write about I need to write about my failures at love, and the embarrassment that comes along with it And how as a woman I'm starting to think we were designed to get played I wish I was a songwriter... Then I could sit back and replay my lyrics To capture that moment when I felt like this I wish I was brave enough to let my voice sing this to you, rather than spit it Brave voice...Brave heart Brave enough to go back and write what brought me here in the start