So I wondering when did I become so broken. I don't remember being happy or having a happy childhood. Listen wait a minute I don't want any pity or savior. I'm just taking inventory of my life. Trying to understand how I push my love away. You see I've broken so long don't where it began. Did start when I a fetus. When my sister hide me away behind her in my mother's worn. If she knew she would not aborted. I first notice thatmy brokenness at give my melancholy at give year old. I would cry all the time I didn't know why. I realize that was purposely broke out by men that were perverted and cruel. Hands touching big body falling on mine little body all but five years old. I wear my scares like a badge of shame then of Honor. News-leader trying to build relationships little broken part of me that I have never sex and its two words me like a badge of shame. Still hello sir on my neck like slavery what everybody whatever have a healthy relationship I'm broken I don't know how to fix myself.