Change

I think it’s time for a change. I’m tired, so tired, of how the waves pull in the sand and how the clouds reel in the sun. I’ve led a patterned existence of tides coming and going and coming and staying for a while on a couch stained with dreams I’ll never dream again. I’ve had a name stitched into my skin, a reputation of ire, intense regret and unscrupulous sin. But I don’t want that any longer. I don’t want to be the boy who brought the world to its knees for a day and wake up the man who brushed off its shoulders. I don’t want to be the clouds taking the sun from the sky. I don’t want to steal the sand from castles and throw it back further up on land. I want to be the man that I’ve dreamed of being, connected, vibrant, joyous, content. I want to be everything I was told I couldn’t be. I want to be loyal. I want to be dedicated. I want to be perfect. Or something like it. Or something falling just short of it. Or something so far out of range that perfect couldn’t describe it. Hell. I just want to be human again, to breathe in the salt I spit out. To feel the pain I’ve caused. To move forward from what moves away from me. To simply be, as I am, and as I should be. Yeah, it’s time for a change.