STOP!

Red Leicester struggled under the weight of the christmas tree, which leant to one side like a club-footed veteran.

Edam sniggered derisively through plumes of ciggarette smoke.

" Every year you erect the damn christmas tree and every year you screw it up"

Red leicester became indignant like a brexiteer.

" why don't you put it up yourself?"

Edam sniggered, but without the S.

"No, in  the living room is fine ".
 

Chedder was the stright white male of the group, and left massive carbon footprints as he goose-stepped into the room.

" I am right. You are wrong. I am big. You are small."

The protestations of the other cheeses were drowned in a fondue of hate.