Coals

I feel my nose burning
And I smile
Because I know that means
The tears are coming
They'll sting 
My breath will catch
My hands will shake
My eyes will turn
That turquoise blue
And I smile
Because I know 
You'll think
They look beautiful 
You'll love the tears
As they fall
Because they'll send me 
To your shoulder
In shame 
And secretly
You'll love the power
 
I opened my palms 
And let everyone's pain
Hit them like coals
And I took them
Like the sun
And they burned
But I stood
Scrunching my nose
And parting my lips
So I look brave
And they applaud
But tonight
The fire will well
To the skin 
In the tips of my fingers
And I'll press them to my cheeks 
And burn so bright
You'll see my lungs
Fighting to reach the air
 
Sometimes it just gets heavy 
I tell you
My tears usually find 
The floor of my closet
But as I'm driving 
I'm screaming
And I can't see the road
So you become my eyes
You whisper my name
Again and again
But you say nothing else
And I hate you for that
And I hate you 
For the shoulder 
You make me use
Because I can feel your smile
Behind my back
And I miss 
The tear-stained floor 
Of my closet 
Because it's warm there 
And the carpet dulls the pain
But, you
You place your hands on my chest
And you push the coals deeper
You want them to find my heart
Because if my heart
Catches fire
Then you won't have to love me anymore. 

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