Coffee and Cigarettes

A sip, a puff that’s all It takes

Then you're on a rollercoaster that brings you up and everyone that cares about you down

It doesn't matter if you do it for stress or fun or just to seem cool

Either way it's an addiction all the same

I remember when i was 8 or 9 and I walked to gym class and a group of kids were laughing at me

So I said "What's so funny?" They said 

"You smoke don't you, you smell like a chimney, you don’t belong here you belong in an alley"

Those words hit like knives to my stomach slowly making me bleed, I couldn't breath

So I went to the bathroom and cried and cried and I soaked my t-shirt with soap and water but the smell didn't come out

Little do they know it was my mother who washes my clothes

 the constant smell of burning paper and tobacco in flames caught on my clothes.

There is no escape.

So I used perfumes and tried to wash them myself

Still nothing changed

I was the girl that smoked, the weird girl

If only they knew if only they knew

That the smoke comes from the parent who I love

 and the coffee stains on my homework is from the mother that helps me with things I don’t understand.

I saw something a while ago

There was a young girl smoking in the street

 she had her blonde locks matted and dyed a inch to the scalp

she wore tights that were ripped from the knee to the toe in heels that made her taller than basketball players

she stumbled along the road as she murmured under her breath

So I went on with my day and realized something

Addiction is a curse when you put it to your lips the nicotine consumes you

It can change you to a different person

You need that drive you need that buzz

And when you don't have the buzz people lash out

 get freaked out and get sick until they get it

Addiction is something I will never face because I saw it first hand

Now every time I meet a new person I'm afraid

of that smell that word that comment. I'm self-conscious of how the t-shirt smells and how the black pants look.

Every time my mom coughs I get terrified, it's just a tickle I say

But one day it's not going to be a tickle and I don’t want that day to come and I hope it never will.

When I see parents in Starbucks with their kids drinking lattes I realize their kids get addicted to the taste

Or when I see people outside smoking a cigarette I see them as a prisoner of the head honcho nicotine

And only their power hold the key.

So I ask you as a person, what is your decision, do you become a prisoner of your own addictions or rise above that dirty habit

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