Compliments

I took a test on the internet

It told me my love language is words of affirmation

Which is kind of funny when you think about it

Because it’s true

Complimenting me is signing your name in the guest book of my heart

Telling me I am beautiful is carving your initials into the bridge between neurons

I will never forget you

But sometimes I forget to give it back

I sometimes forget to payback the privilege of a compliment

Because you see I’ve convinced myself that the ones I have loved will only love me back if they believe they don’t deserve better

Or that there will always be something better

I never told you how much I loved your smile

How much your laugh gave me butterflies

Or how good you looked in those khaki shorts.

You see I was afraid if I told you how much I loved you

How beautiful I thought you were

That one day you’d see it too

And that’s the day you’d leave

You see I know I can’t compete

And maybe that makes me a quitter

But I never learned to quit you

And perhaps that’s part of the problem.

Holding back words of love never saved anyone from pain

It only shoved them away in a closet til the closet couldn’t contain them anymore

And then it exploded

And I don’t want anymore explosions

So you’re beautiful

And you’re handsome

And your hair looks good even when you just woke up

And I kiss you so much because I can’t stop wondering how it would feel to kiss you for the rest of my life

Or forever

But nothing lasts forever

And we are no exception