Contradiction and Conflicting

In Sixth Grade we wrote an "I..." poem, and this was it

"I am not to be messed with

I wonder what will happen next

I hear people talking

I see things unseen

I want to go home

I am one person

I pretend nothings wrong

I feel invisible sometimes

I touch many lives

I worry the war will never end

I cry because things are sad

I am imaginative

I understand things that shouldn't be understood

I say "what if" a lot

I dream of a happy place

I try not to show emotion

I hope everythings going to be okay

I am Mikaela"

And now at 19 years old as I sit crying on my floor because I can't afford the education I always thought would come so easy to me,

I realize...

I am not to be messed with, and although I wonder what will happen next,

I hear and I see a bright future ahead.

Even though I want to just drop out, I know I am one person who can make a change.

I pretended for so long I wouldn't come to this point. But I feel the harsh reality as I touch my face to my knees.

I worry, and I cry.

But I am determined.

I understand that a hard time now means an easy life later.

I say this could be the end of it.

But I dream of a better tomorrow.

And I try not to be too down about it.

I hope for a miracle or a strike of luck.

I am a contradiction, and so that leaves me with,

Who am I?