My smiling mask that feels real in the moment

My hands tha want to reach for the razer that feel real then

My love for life that feels like it will never end

My want to be done struggling no matter what

My mind is a controdiction

One moment joy and the next termoil

I seem happy to those on the outside and maybe I am but those times are short

When all starts to fall around me, that is also who I am

I don't seem like a real person

How can I live in two minds and still be one?

That is the life of depression

That has been my life for way to long

This is where the controdiction ends

Not by gun or rope but by healing

I have to find healing because controdiction is far to hard