Crushed ambitions,
Rash decisions,
Flacid beginings,
Inability to pay the cost of tuition,
My sanity is on life support; critical condition,
I'm sick of empty prayers and I'm sick of wishing,
Because my dreams and reality just had a head on collision,
An unhappy disposition,
With a debt slave's existence,
Pains and groans,
A first year student with 2 unsubsidized loans,
No support at all, my pops told me I'm grown,
And knowing that I'm the first to go college and that I'm alone,
Cuts me down to bones,
Cuz the love and help is dead and gone.
Moms was abusive and her words were ruthless,
So It was to prove her wrong when I set out to do this,
I'm out here hustling, I mean the means gotta justify ends,
But i wanna kill somebody when i see her rolling in that new Mercedes Benz,
6 years have passed and i haven't seen one red cent,
So don't judge me when i say I hate her and that I don't wanna repent,
Because outside I'm dying and inside I'm crying and sometimes I feel like a a little cat when i act like a lion,
Facades and mirages I'm constantly lying,
It's like the real me is imprisoned in solitary confinement,
Have you seen my smile? Cuz i can't seem to find it,
And If you draw conclusions about me ill argue and deny it,
Barely eating in this dorm, I'm on a food stamp diet,
And when these other kids need something they got fafsa to buy it,
I'm hurt and reserved,
Cuz this pain is something no one man deserves,
I'm not here complaining like woe is me,
But its like the whole world has got its chains wrapped around me,
I miss my grandma cuz she was the only one who gave me some peace,
It's like my mind is constipated and i don't got no tums for relief,
They look at me like a thug and assume I'm a thief because I came between the cracks of them Compton streets,
I got girl in my life that makes complete,
But when i when i can't even support myself it makes me feel weak,
So to vent I chunk my black power fist in the air and scream f*** the police,
Cuz I'm an institutional slave and its time for release,
So i poke my chest out and grit all my teeth,
And scream out I'ma make it cuz gmoms raised me to be a beast ,
Straight out of Compton, I'm repping the East,
So when i make it to the top Yall gone stand in disbelief,
Cuz I don't no pell, cal, state grant or subsidized loans,
Cuz i descend from royalty, and ima make it even if its all on my own,
Ima get these degrees and take this world by storm,
So to those on top u better keep my throne warm,
I'm constantly scheming and dreaming and rebuking these demons,
While at the same time fighting crime and these racist hierarchical behemoths,
No more violence and fighting cuz I'm nobody's stereotype,
So from now on if you diss me and mine is the only time I'm ready to fight,
Im standing here confident with a couple relatives, homies and my girl at my side,
And when that revolution come best believe we ain't gone leave cuz I'm ready to ride,
I'm taking fate in my own hands, ill be the one to decide,
Don't call me r Kelly, but right I feel like I believe I can fly,
I've now learned that your own destiny and success is within you,
This is the prologue of the story of my life, to be continued......