He hugs me like he wants to heal something deep inside me,

Like if he holds me close enough for just a second, it will be like a bandage on my hurt.

 

You hugged me like you wanted me to be smaller,

As though I was just too much for you, I took up to much space for you stand in the center of the room.

 

The difference is that when I fall, he makes sure I am okay, then laughs.

 

When I was on crutches, you didn’t even ask me what happened.

 

You didn’t even offer to walk me out of class, to be the one to carry my things.

 

You couldn’t even carry the weight of my words.  

 

A simple greeting crushed you, I was just too much.

 

So “the wonder” that I stopped even saying “hello” is no wonder.

I am not sorry for the harsh accusations whenever I had the chance to fight you.

 

I am not sorry for the harsh calluses on my hands, I am not sorry you couldn’t hold them

 

I am not sorry for saying sorry to you so much, but I am sorry you couldn’t just accept it

 

He looks at me like maybe he wants to accept me.

 

You looked at me like maybe you wanted everything except me.

 

So maybe every time I think about you, you think about the bruise on your stomach that you weren’t planning on telling me about.  I wish I could be in your mind for all the other things you just weren’t planning on telling me about, but came out anyway.

 

Maybe the tears I shed that day were the only ones I really cried about you.