"No thanks. Too dark. Not cute. Not my type."

These are things I'd hear when I woud finally get enough courage to address the boy that I liked. He tells me I'm sweet, I'm the homie, I'm "aight" but deep down we both knew that he wasn't down to date the color that reminded him of midnight.

To spare my feeings he tells me he's not looking for a relationship, or he's just really focused on school. And after this embarrassing rejection he then turns back around, looks at me and says, "But hey, you kinda cute for a dark skin so that's cool."

Cute for a dark skin. Like that's a whole different category. Like dark skins are a different species with a whole new language and a completely different story. Like we don't walk the same, talk the same, and we don't feel what you feel, and it boggles my mind that stupid concept some people actually believe it's real.

To me it honestly doesn't make sense. Like who said "Let's take all the dark skin girls and put them in this fence. Don't speak to them, compliment them, and don't you dare treat them the same," and the fact that the main people doing this is other black people, is what's driving me insane.

These conversations would then constantly play back in my mind, almost making me wish that everyone in the world was blind. That maybe, just maybe if my skin was light or if my name was Britney, I'd be the girl that all the guys wanted to see. That I'd get the numbers, go on dates, and be the girl that all the guys strived for. Instead of being lonely number five on the double date with four.

Down in the dumps I'd then mope around feeling sorry for myself, until one day this voice came in my head and said, "Simone wake up and see your wealth!" Know that you are beautiful, driven, smart, and flawless. Dont beat yourself up because that stupid boy crossed you off his list."

When that thought crept into my mind, I realized that it was true because you see the only one who can define your true beauty in fact, is you.

So let's just say this boy came back, and decided to give me a chance. Should I gracefully decline, or go for this long awaited romance? I wouldn't do either. Maybe somethin in the middle. Maybe a brief explanation and I'd make it simple.

I'd tell him:

You see the thing is, back then I didn't see in myself what I see now. Now that I know my worth there is no way no how. That I could ever let someone else define my own beauty. Especially when all they were focused on were big boobs and a fat booty.

What makes me flawless? It's something you can't see, because what really makes me flawless, is what's inside of me. My passion, my spirit, my determination, my joy. The fact that I love myself too much to let you play me like a toy. Or treat my feelings like this is a game. Or force me to do something with you that would later make me feel shame.

See I'm flawess because I have goals. I'm flawless because I have dreams. I'm flawless because if you couldn't tell by now, I'm the daughter of a King, and this King made me in his image. So there's no way there's anything wrong with me, because like it says in His word, "I am clothed in strength and dignity."

So thanks, but no thanks we can go our seperate way. Shoot, you might as well call me Beyonce because I'm  so flawless I deserve my own Jay. See the guy that will really deserve me, won't make me his 2nd, 3rd, or 4th option. He will see me and immediately take his chance. We will be so bomb together, you might even call it a flawless romance.

So I'm good by myself for now, and I promise you this wasn't meant to be a diss. And just incase you were wondering, or you forgot, I WOKE UP LIKE THIS.