A LETTER TO BRANDON?
Dear Brandon, I have much to say in such short time...especially when the middle of july up to this moment is going through my mind...and it's hard to write what I feel when my emotions are undefined....so i'll begin with the middle of july...the day i first looked you in the eyes...at the time it didn't seem more than hi and bye...i honestly thought we'd never meet again...though when we did i was glad that it happened...because i enjoyed those times with you that we spent...considering that you're simply diffrent from most guys that i've met...seeing that your confident and intelligent....i was so happy to have someone so nice and a promising future after all...no concern about you getting shot or heading to juvenile hall....yes very smart and handsome you are....though some things can only go so far...maybe it's because we got together so close to fall but things began to change..causing me to go from bursting in tears to bursting into rage!......when i looked into the mirror i witnessed eye filled with depression....could this all be in my mind or a reaction to neglection?.....maybe it's all in my head and my thoughts are irrelevant...i hate revealing the part of me thats overbearing and beligerent....sorry to say that side of me exist..so im thinking my emotions are over reacting and need to replenish...possibly there are other chapters in my life that remain unfinished...but those are other chapters that i need to deal with...could the chapter of you and i really be a myth...these questions that stick in my mind that i wish to detach...those thoughts that came so quickly as i was unable to catch....maybe im saying too much...or maybe i haven't said enough...if i hold it all inside it will hurt my pride...but if i let it out will i upset you and let you go aswell?...or is it too late?...have i held my feelings in for so long that i've grown this resentment for myself?....now that i've grown this self hate...i've lost all fate....this must be a discrace to all humanity...to cause yourself to go into this insanity..i don't want to irritate you with my emotions...you seem so emotionless to my effort and devotion...so i hold my tongue to hold you close...to watch you leave is what hurts the most...when we're together i repress all that's on my mind...well because i simply refuse to ruin a good time...i know by the way im putting it, it sounds beyond bad...though at the end of the day i really like what we have....your something like a new experience,interesting,exciting,and i'd like to kno more...similar to a discovery that im anxious to explore..your're someone that i've grown to adore...your that brightside of the story as you hold a special piece in my heart..the tears that stroll down my face when we're seperated and force to be apart...when push comes to shove people tend to say what they don't mean...because in certain situations things aren't always what they seem...but it all adds up to the fact that my feelings get the best of me....does my perspective make sense or is it irrelevant to speak it...it's all in my mind,it's all in my head....i complain about it now because i'd rather be with you instead...maybe if i were to do it all over i'd handle it better...but i do what i can and crammed it all in this extended letter...maybe learn to make the best out of the harsh conditions of the weather...but overall you make me happy....though im confusing myself with keeping us as one..when i know in my heart we're something thats been over and done..the more i keeping you around the more i've been stressin...so maybe your curse rather than a blessing...you can't relate to the way i feel but im sure you know...so im ecknowleging the fact that it's time to let go....
shawn taylor..i gotta let you go....