Dear Music,

What can I say to you

That can even begin to describe

Everything that you have done for me?

I was drowning in my depression

Depression caused by no fault of my own

Caused by no fault of the others around me

But still, nobody reached out their hand

Because they didn’t understand that they had a reason to

After all, they would say to me

“Cheer up. You don’t have a reason to be sad.”

I know I don’t have a “reason” to be depressed

But Depression can catch anyone

At any time, in any place, in any situation

Depression doesn’t have to have a reason to entangle someone

He traps anybody he wants, and he caught me

I was drowning, and because nobody understood

I continued to sink further, until I could no longer see the light

I walked by everyone I knew, pretending to be happy

I pretended because they wanted me to

They never wanted to see the truth,

Even though I’m positive some knew what the ugly truth was

The truth that I was dying inside

I walked by them, with them, through them

A fake smile planted on my face

But in reality, I had lost my glow and positivity

And only those really close to me noticed it

And they would tell me

“You have nothing that would cause you to be depressed.”

And they would start to remind me

Of the people around me that have a reason

My best friend, who no longer lives with her parents

My cousin, whose father is going to trial

And others, but they will never understand

Depression was behind me the whole time

Laughing as he watched his catch struggle

He picked a good one, didn’t he?

One that he could ensnare and no one would try to help

Because they didn’t feel they needed to

One night, I couldn’t take it anymore

The voices, the feelings, the constant urges

I picked up a blade, ready to cut my life away

But then you came along, didn’t you, Music?

You came right at the perfect moment

Sure, I had listened to you before

But never the kind I truly loved

I only listened to the kind that everyone around me did

But that wasn’t me, and you knew that

So on that night, you introduced me to the kind

That you knew would save me

Music, you gave me the part of you

That you knew would be able to pull me from Depression’s grasp

I had been listening to the Country part of you

But that didn’t help me in any way

I didn’t understand it, I didn’t relate

But then you took that part of you from me

And gave me the Emo, the Metal, the Punk Rock part of you

It started with Twenty One Pilots

And it spread to Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance, Three Days Grace,

And many, many others

They came into my life and jump-started it

They told me that it’s okay to be scared

And that I’m not the only one

They told me that there are others out there

Who feel the same

They gave me a way to fight Depression

They gave me something to live for

And while I haven’t completely broken free of Depression’s grasp

I’m not so far below the surface anymore

I can see the light, I can see a way out

I just have to be patient and wait for things to get better

But, Music, you knew this already, didn’t you?

That’s why you gave me that part of you.

Because you knew what I was going through,

And you knew what I would have done if you didn’t

So, Music, that brings me back to my original question

What can I even say to describe what you’ve done for me?

Depression was dragging me down by the ankle

I was screaming, kicking, but no one around me

Reached out their hand to save me, and in the end

I nearly gave up the fight

Then you came along and reached out your hand

You gave me a reason to fight again

You gave me the strength to break Depression’s hold on my foot

And begin to swim to the surface

You gave me comfort when I needed it most

You were there when no one else was

You gave me a way to navigate this crazy, messed up world

Without losing my sanity

You introduced me to a group of people

That feel the same way I do, that went through the same things

Introduced me to people who care about my life

And will be my friends and not judge me

I didn’t even deserve any of it, I know I didn’t

Simply put, Music…

You saved my life.