Defiant

No one ever accused me of being humble

pride and ego have been my saving grace

when i feel like drowning in my own stress

defiance is what keeps me going

i challenge the right of the universe to put me down

screw the teenager aura of the trait

i will do exactly what is not expected of me

because frankly my dear, i dont give a damn

as to what i am supposed to do

for six years ive struggled at home

as my father gets released from job after job

and my sister pushes back against mental illness

and my mother unloads it all on me

six years i have battled anxiety, for two i have battled my hair

pulling it out strand by strand 

weeding out the rough ones, the ones that dont fit in

by all measures i should have not fit in either. 

i should have spilled out of myself and been wiped on the doormat to the future

that is school and grades and the college application process

but i didn't because i had something to maintain

something that only i could control unlike anything else in my life

my reputation. 

like i said, no one ever accused me of being humble

everyday i went in with my head held high and not a speck of my turmoil showing through

that is my defiance

that is my war against the forces that seek to push me down

i will not give up

i will not let go of my dreams