how do you rid yourself of something

that is inside of you,

a part of you?

 

do you

try to calm the devil within

or do you

try to dispose of him instead?

 

will you cut yourself wide open,

let a canyon span across your chest?

 

do you sit on your knees

and scream,

as if he will follow your breath

out of your lips?

 

or do you count each

tick of the clock,

like me, and

try to sever your

adhesive veins

with rusty scissor blades?

 

I am an awaiting time bomb -

there is a thunderstorm

raging deep down in my throat

and the seconds left before

the explosion are ticking

along with my sickly heartbeat

 

and when my heart bleeds

it blossoms out like a rose

 

but the thorns are puncturing my lungs,

letting the inferno in -

suffocating me from the

inside out,

 

yes, the monsters are back

and they are not here to play but

to stir the dark;

 

yet surely something with

wicked claws and jagged teeth

cannot be any worse

than whatever lurks

deep underneath -

 

underneath my skin

I am itching,

writhing,

lamenting.

I am just trying to

cleanse myself,

suck the poison out

like a hospital IV

 

except

I think the demons

are less within me

and more so..

a result of me

as I dart in and out

of humanity and monstrosity.