Tonight I called your number twice.

And it went right to voice mail

while I pressed my phone-

desperately-

to my ear.

I knew you wouldn’t answer.

The call was pointless,

I know,

but I haven’t heard your voice 

in two months and

five days.

The letters help but I’m 

starting to realize,

I’m much more attached 

than I should be.

I’m much more attached

to you,

to your voice,

to your smile,

than I am to this planet,

than I am to my life,

than I am to my family,

and it scares me how

I’ve let myself

get in this deep.