Elimination of Pronunciation Agitation
Location
I would change the quirks in the English language
so the pronunciation, instead of like “hammer” and “anger,”
of “clamour” was more like “contour,” “detour,” and “downpour.”
I’d make “air” sound different from “heir” and “ere,”
and say bye to “buy” being like “by,” and a world where we
would no longer cringe at the misuse of “their,” “there,” and “they’re!”
While we think we know our language through,
why do we stutter when we say "enough," "plough," and "though?"
We try not to say “cough” in “hiccough,”
even though “dough” rhymes with “go” and “snow.”
Let’s end the struggle of trying to say “tomb,” “bomb,” “comb,” and “womb.”
Let’s not be hounded by how we say “founded,” “rounded,” and “wounded!”
Remember to never shed a tear when your new jeans tear
even though “tear” sounds just like “gear” but sometimes “hair.”
Don’t catch a fever from the deceiver “ever.”
Who's to say that rhymes with “Neither?”
Is “seizure” more like “neither?” or is a fiver like “neither?”
Really, it could be either or either.
There is a lot to change of these odd little laws,
But the English Language has one thing right because
we made claws sound like clause and paws like pause
solely so we can joke for an applause:
See, a cat will have claws at the end of its paws
while a comma will have a pause at the end of its clause.