Endless games of endless shame

how the fuck did things ever come to this, I'm so fed up but I manage a smile as I open up my wrists I can't stand the way you seem to make me feel, I've lost touch with everything and all reality is so unreal so just take back everything you've ever said to me I'm sick of this game , stuck in a cage, divided by boundaries I wanna check out and say goodbye I give up , every single time I try there is a brick thrown inside , crashing the window of my soul There are no more tears , my emotions have all died No identity left, you stripped it all away from me molded by your perception I've become ur perfect enemy tragedy after tragedy, helpless fights and violent catastrophes, riddled with the bullets of the endless fucking casualties all possibilities to move forward are completely lost, for your sick self satisfaction no matter what the cost it's the never ending war that keeps opening forbidden doors nevermind the warnings, you crave the madness always begging for more breaking through a dark viel left lost dying to explore, hollow husk of a man , burned black to the core ive never felt like this bleeding from a kiss I've never felt like that bleeding from the facts When will I come unglued ? ignoring all the rules so many unanswered questions changing every direction Morbid curiosity is now my new infection What am I thinking , what am I supposed to do I'd gladly cut out my tongue if it would mean I'd never again have to talk to you Crawling out of sicknesses , becoming darker, there was never any witnesses I will no longer be A victim all alone Spoon fed poison slowly, withering skin and bones When your forced to live life mentally tortured and imprisoned nothing can and nothing will, ever be called home.