A Face
Location
Alarm rings
Phone shakes
Eyes open
Body rises
Thoughts appear
Emotions stir
A new day begins
There's a man in the room
He speaks in whispers
He tells me to put on his mask
He says no one wants to love a boy with scars
He says God won't love me without it
He says the mask is what makes people love me
This mask has a permanent smile
He says nobody likes a downer
He says nobody wants to talk to a sensitive, awkward boy
He tells me my friends prefer each other over me
He says the mask is all I have
I don't argue
There's nothing I can do
I fight with him throughout the day
But I start believing him
I give in
I place
My other face
My face has seen beauty
My mouth has spoke kindness
My ears have heard love
The outward expression of my experience of the world
My other face,
The inward expression of my experience of the world
The face that has seen horror
The mouth that has spit vengeance
The ears that have heard hatred
The face that is hidden from everyone else
The face that cries
The face that hurts
The face that is silent
My other face
The face with no confidence in the eyes
The face with no heart in the words it speaks
The face that is deaf to sound
The other face
Yes, my face
My true face
Every morning
A mask is placed
Upon my face
A smile
Senile
Inside,
Madness
The man in the room
His voice in my head saying,
"You're not good enough"
'Why do you bother?"
"Not good enough"
That man's voice echoing too loudly
Feelings hurt too easily
My voice never heard
Always ignored
Every day
Rinse and repeat
Place upon that mask
The man says it helps
I tell him
No more
I scream at him
I fight him back
I tell him
"I am my own man now"
I tell him
"i don't need this anymore"
I ignore his words
I believe in myself now
I can live a little now
My face
Smiles
My face cries
My face
My face
MY FACE
The other face
Is no more
I am my own man
The other man's voices echo,
Somedays
He whispers of the other face
His face
I look up
The sky
Bright
And I remember
There's more to life than hiding
Behind something