Finding Ones Self...In Progress...

Location

My home
Hancock Lane
United States
40° 2' 9.7044" N, 74° 48' 48.3948" W

I don't know what you see
But is it really me
I hide behind so many different things
Sweats on the regular
Books are more interesting
Very few friends
Because I am no means to an end
I am in constant turmoil with who I am
So at night I pretend
I am a princess-queen in her own right
Richer than the world itself
And to every government I help
Assassin in the night
And every unseen demon I fight
But just like the real me
She is alone
Isolating herself purposely to protect
What is left of her haphazardly put back together heart
In reality I am a warrior
Derived from the blood, sweat and tears of angels
Sealed with the hardships of humans
Laid before me on my path
Is obstacles and death traps
And to them I always tip my hat
I am a survivor of sorts
My life has just begun though
And with that my hell on earth truly starts
And I will push through as usual
Because I have been told I have one of those hearts
The ones that endure untold storms
That help form
The person I am on the inside
The one hiding behind physical scars and tears
The one that feels as if she's taken all she can bear
I am the one who avoids mirrors for fear of seeing her own reflection
The mirror that reflects a broken girl
The mirror that reflects a girl who will never be what society accepts
The mirror that reflects all of my many imperfections
Eyes uneven
Top lip too thin
Discoloration of the skin
Wears glasses
Not skinny enough
She has what
Has gone back to her natural hair
The roots of her true self
This is unacceptable in your eyes
So who am I
Am I just a body here only for the pleasure of men
No way in HELL will I accept that
But I am a woman equal to all humans
Blossoming in the harshest of winters
Becoming who I am meant to be
I am me
Forever and always
I will not change myself for the boxed in whims of those who don't see me
I am loud to the deaf
And silent to the hearing
I am the original Bible of life
Untainted by the foolish flesh
I am never out of breath
Like my feeble earth lungs that can hardly work because of asthma
I am the dance of the endless oceans
Free to just be
I am the song of the universe
Never ending and forever beautiful beyond words
I am me
And that will always be
I am still learning the ways of life
And with it all the strife
I am that girl you ignore now
But I will be the sole surviving human that would have saved you
I am the one who will come through mind intact
I am the one destroying the chains forged by lower case g gods
I am gorgeous
When I was created the mold was broken
When I was named
The name of THE archangel was bestowed upon me
I am intelligent
Forever trying to grasp the vast world of knowledge
I am loving
Although there are only scraps left of my heart, I love with everything I've got
After all of this it may seem as if I am saying I am more than human
I am not because that is what I am
It is apart of me as well as all human history
I am above no one
But I will never be told I am below
You don't know me
Not until you truly see
And you won't
Not until you take off that dreadfully dark blindfold
And wipe away thousands of years of grime
Cause the truth is just
I am who I am
And finally
I am starting to accept that

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