Freedom can be yours in the land of the free

This is true, but only if you listen to me

Don't open your mouth to speak

The best kind of thoughts are the ones that are bleak

Oh, the American dream?

Not as easy as it seems

35 hours from Monday to Friday

And don't even think of giving a new birthday 

Yes that's right, it'll take away the time

And taking a break from work is a crime

But come join us we have apple pie

Hopefully our obesity won't make you die

We have mountains and rivers that are mint

But don't try to have some water in Flint!

Come have some free education

But have you seen the rates of graduation?

Yes we have some good things too

But progress is what we need to do

Until America the Great is not just read

But known to be true in our head