Gagged

It was so hard to remeber it.

How wrong and awful it was. 

How much I hated it.

But the hardest thing to remember is that I consented.

There was no going back.

It was a wretched design, a foolish one.

I feel now what I felt then in that bed in that room, so cold.

It was all so malignantly cold and I didn't really want to.

Good thing I'm an actress, he wouldn't suspect a thing.

Bad thing I'm an actress, he didn't suspect a thing.

Like the good little actress would, 

I descended into this role assigned the moment I said yes.

An Oscar worthy performance

That no one will ever see.

And it was so cold.

I turned away, 

Shivering, wanting to sleep.

He reminded me why I was there. 

I slipped out of dreaming and let him kiss me.

My mind carried off in dreams

But I'm no astral projectionist. 

But I will say this, 

That was the last night I would ever let myself be an actress with anyone.

Not when it isn't truth.