Growing Up With Aspergers

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Being an aspie can be a source of misery or a source of pride, it’s all in the bearer’s perception. “What’s an aspie?” you might ask. It’s a term for someone who bears the rigorous condition of aspergers. I won’t delve into the medical description of the syndrome. Just know it’s a social cancer. Something you would not want at any cost. For us gamers out there, think the Poison Mushroom from Mario or the infamous Red Ring of Death.

I was diagnosed with aspergers well after it was apparent; common for many with the disorder. Due to my broad interests and (for my age group) expansive vocabulary, I never had many friends growing up. I also had my fair share of obsessions. Aside from gaming, I had a fascination with dismantling toys. Every day, I’d take them apart and examine their nuts and bolts. I could perpetuate the list of odd qualities, but I reckon you have the idea down pat. The one your parents didn’t want you playing with.

As time went on, so did my aversion to societal norms. While other guys had girlfriends and traded Pokemon cards, I sat in my corner with a Gameboy and a drawing pad. I turned a deaf ear to pop culture. I was never one to dress like the rest, use slang or talk about how hot that one girl was. In other words, I was somebody who would not conform. And, as such, I was considered a reject. And, as we all know, rejects are treated like scum and made out to be scapegoats.

The way I’ve been treated for having aspergers, among various other mental conditions, could be said to be unethical. I could give you an on-going list of taunts and teases, but that’s not important. Why? Because those people aren’t even worth the ink used on this sentence. What does matter is that I’ve turned a deaf ear to each and every one of them. I’m a faggot? No, I just don’t think about sleeping with girls as much as you. I’m weird? Cool, weird is what I strive for. I’m a loser for being a virgin at 17? No, I just have something few can say they truly have. It’s a little something called “self respect”. I’m ugly? No, I just don’t waste all my money in the stores most teens do.

While, to this day, I’m still unpopular and will never have many allies, I’m proud to say I’ve become apathetic. I don’t care if I’m the guy with over a million friends on Facebook. I don’t care if I turn out to be some old guy running a shop in some hole in the wall. I don’t even care if I go “all the way” with someone. There are bigger and better things in life than being popular, having a thick wallet or having intercourse with someone I’m not calling my wife. I may bear this curse, but I bear it with pride. Few people have seen what I have seen in their adolescence, nor have they been through what I have. Being an aspie may be a lifelong challenge, but it is one I am more than happy to undertake.

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