A father daughter bond, in my eyes that’s been long gone

You weren’t ever fully in my life, why?

Because you had other kids and a whole new wife.

In twenty eighteen you came back in my life

I was fifteen and already showed strong feelings of dislike

At my sweet you thought you had a candle to be lit

And when you didn’t you wasn’t sure how to handle it

Here I am now I feel guilty, and I know my attitude was quite filthy. 

You tried to be here for me and now that I see it, you’re gone. 

2 days after my party I got that devastating call.

I remember vividly crying on the wall. 

You tried to put yourself back in the picture but I was too selfish to allow you to try. 

Now I look at your pictures and I always ask myself ‘why?’ 

My birthday just passed and it really hit home , that its been one year

And you’re really not here. 

The nightmare is real 

My wounds have yet to heal.

I want to hear your voice

And maybe we could rejoice. 

I want another hug, another dance

And maybe just one more chance. 

I want to go back, back to my party

Where we had that father daughter dance. 

For those 10 minutes, I felt whole with you holding me in your arms. 

Since the day you died, I’ve worn my necklace you gave me every single day. 

I’m glad you gave it to me, I wouldn’t want it to be any other way. 

I’m sorry that I pushed you away, and I’m sorry that I didn’t give you a chance. 

GUILT: the feeling of having done wrong or failed in an obligation. 💔