These punk rock stars with long black hair
Spit and scream noise into my ear
If pain and pasts of pain to suffer
And this dark past passed around so no cover
When everybody knows your mistakes
Holding back the strength it takes
To not bleed for your viable reasons
But beg to differ, and watch as this treason
Of friendship to call upon my secrets as stories
To dream that one day they lie there before me
And watch as I bleed, down my elbow it trickles
And drops to their faces, I hope my blood tickles
Their cheeks, forming the tears they deserve
For hurting my mind, striking every nerve
Walk through the blacktop, names calling beyond my music
Never to violence other then myself to lose it
And believe what they say, thinking I am in the wrong
As red become the main color of the song
I tune out the rest of the world so I can focus on the pain
As my wrist lies scarred, broken and slain
It's throat has been cut, it may drown in velvet sorrow
Wear a sweater, and smile to cover up tomorrow
No matter how bright the day, or how beautiful it is
My head swollowed by others secrets and darkness
I take all my time to care about others and fix their problems
But I don't care about my own, so no one takes caution
When someone such as he who smiles and laughs
Hates his life and wishes not another moment would pass
I'm afraid of death, afraid that it may lead me into oblivion
Something I can't be scared of while I'm in one
But...why bother being scared if there's no thought
No dream, just darkness, so welcoming to be caught
In an eternal sleep, so let me be stuck
In this black and velvet corner, left to be struck
By my insecure thoughts, never elated
But to sit and squander, left what's related
To my issue still be in my life, even if they don't know
That what is causing me pain, is their face to show
For every time I see it, I crave a pain in my arm
But it become to obvious to harm
Because everyone can see my arms and I don't want to wear a sweater
So how about I cut a place better
A long deep, bloody, painful, crimson mess
As a cut made with a razor is made across my chest
And these heavy pain songs I have been listening too
Become the anthems of my death, the last thing I knew
Was to cut deep, almost die, sleep and repeat
And no matter how much blood and pain secretes
To enjoy it, I deserve it for making people hate me
For making then call me a faggot or an idiot, creating
A thought in my mind that I am just a bad person
So push deeper with every cut, until it stops hurting
I have cut so much that I can feel it no longer
When I can't feel the pain I deserve and my skin is stronger
Then resort to bruising by beating with a stick or a bar
Hit my head on a wall or the dashboard of a car
But when I can't feel that pain then it just becomes talent
That I can show off my lack of pain, so can it
Have been a good thing that the pain us now numb
Even if I try to make it next time I am called dumb
Or gay, or stupid, or any fake name
The pain then becomes a new game
Of trying to feel it when I feel I need to
With a smile that no one can see through
But I can't so I use it as a comedic fail
To make people laugh because I don't matter, not to me to prevail
Against all odds I meet someone who's not my parents
Who accually cares and will listen making it apparent
That they have been through all of this before
And that it would all be okay, so more
As we fall...somehow...out of pain into love
A pain that's different that I have never thought of
That I cant be with her, she can't be with me
So I have to wait and see
But I no longer feel a need to bleed or feel pain
Or cause it to myself, with a velvet red rain
Now I use my pain to make people laugh and not to hurt myself
I am no longer a hazard to my own health
I have become this newly formed man
One she can love, and I can be proud to take her hand
Without feeling like I drag her down with me
Now we both stay stable, and it's now that it hits me
That it's a forever...that's a long time...and that's perfect
Everything I have been through becomes worth it
I wouldn't take a single one of my scars back
They all lead to her, no fade into black
Only fade into love as I love her forever
Any pain emotionally we can deal with together
There's nothing more I could ask for...the love of my life
To become mine...all mine...in my arms...my...wife...
Yeah...that sounds so right
That this long fight
Will lead to out happily ever after
I still deal with other people's problems, for of that I am a master
And though I still have trouble of dealing with myself
Because I still don't care about me, I don't matter to myself
But what I lack in self preservation, she has for me
All will be perfect...she is perfect for me
In love with the heart, the face, the body, the kiss
I have no doubt in my mind I will miss
Her dearly when she is gone
But will still see her...nothing will go wrong
We were meant to be together, a love I didn't believe in and never knew
I didn't believe love was real until I felt it so true
To trust someone and love someone to have and to hold
Forever and ever...to have and to hold
To have and to hold....
Oh, future...let me hold...that gorgious embodiment of love until the stars fall. Let be love what I am meant to see and have to love is to be and is forever with one to call to be mine. From the toe to knee, to waist I hold close, to the back my hand to slide up to her neck and reaching the golden blonde hair, to her perfect eyes to become lost in through the glasses she wears, down to her cute nose, down the perfect, soft, link lips to grace with my own...what a dream...what a fantasy to have as a physical being to hold...to have and to hold...when a fantasy comes true...mine did...