I don't want to be awake right now because all I see is him. I can't close me eyes because his face is etched into the back off my eyelids. I can't think because all of my thoughts are of him. I can't breathe without his name filling my lungs and exhaling the pain of his absence. I feel incomplete when I'm not around him but I feel alone when I'm with him. His absence is deafening but his presence is haunting. His voice is soothing but his words are destructive. His iris is the universe but his pupils are a black hole. His touch is calming but his grip is painful. My heart is breaking and the only way I can stop the pain is when you're breaking it more. So please, love, hurt me more because that means I'm near you. Even if it kills me. I'd rather be broken and dead than alive and without you because, even though you hurt me, a life without you is more painful than the things you do to me

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