Him

Sun, 09/07/2014 - 18:52 -- Soulae
It was something like it's not you it's me type of thing,
I knew from the very beginning I never wanted my heart to get back with you,
so I tried to make sure of that,
stay quiet, stay away, no feelings spoken,
My mistake was agreeing to seeing you again,
Being in your presence like best friends,
What was I doing?
It was wrong and I knew it,
cause I was tryna focus on me,
then I see you,
the whole direction of my eyes changed,
They say you never forget your first love,
I believe it,
Its true,
Its like a hold that it has on you once you connect again,
I was angry at myself because it went too far,
I made un-thoughtout decisions,
got myself in trouble,
fell in love again or better yet never fell out,
just was cool at keeping my feelings to myself,
our past,
time changed and I grew,
my connection with you was more quiet and soulful,
lust tried to creep up in my mind,
but I didn't let it cause I was seeing something that I never did,
communication, understanding, appreciation,
love,
I didn't know what to do,
I was confused,
I wanted you but I knew deep down I wasn't ready to love you,
you put a spark in my heart,
I wanted to explore,
give you more,
but I had to shut it down because I couldn't let it go no further,
Everything you showed me I wanted from the very beginning,
that's what had me shook,
and deep in thought questioning myself,
changing my mind,
but I had to make a decision real quick before something happened that I couldnt take back,
my heart was mad and hurt,
but this wasn't about her,
I had to make a decision and do the right thing,
not one based on my feelings,
maybe I went about it the wrong way,
words not in person, 
face to face,
but it had to be done either way,
I didn't get to say goodbye the way I wanted,
or maybe I just didn't know how,
I don't know,
all I know is the love was, is and always will be real,
how I feel no need to go into details,
cause its unexplainable,
I don't really know what true love means but you were my first,
The one,
that no matter what I'll always come back to,
I love you.
 
 

Comments

MVP-Most Valuable Poet

9 years ago

very sincere and honest

do you really deserve this knowing what you went through

something for you to think about

this is a poem that many can relate

this is a part of growing pains-never fool no one with a blind eye

keep writing

Soulae

9 years ago

Thanks, appreciate the comment. Glad you liked it cause it was very real.

But this poem is not actually about me being hurt though. It's about me reflecting on the memory of me making a decision that I recently made about leaving a special guy in my life that I strongly believed was the one, so I could focus on my life, my issues that affected the relationship that I had with him. It was about me spending time with him again, letting him get close to me again, opening my heart again but I knew I wasn't ready to take that step again but it got too far because I fell for him again so I had to brake it off officially because I wasn't ready to give love in return. That's what this whole poem is about. A memory of a decision I made. 

If you wanna check out more of my writing, not just poetry. Check out my blog

http://mygrowthjournal.tumblr.com/

MVP-Most Valuable Poet

9 years ago

why you think i say this is part of growing pains

decisions were made-for good and bad

it's a reflection of discovering who you are, what you are capable of, etc.............

it's learning process of knowing yourself

 

Soulae

9 years ago

True, if you look at with a deep perspective.

I see you are an insightful type of person (lol)

My perspective was more on the surface level of my decision, not really touching on myself but on my situation.

Thanks for your insight though, really appreciate it.

 

*Check out my new poem on my account.

 

 

 

MVP-Most Valuable Poet

9 years ago

i'm insightful lol

the idea of what you wrote is amazing

the comment was for you to look at from all aspects, analyze yourself

they way you express it through poetry is incredible

it would be an honor to look at your new poem

Additional Resources

Get AI Feedback on your poem

Interested in feedback on your poem? Try our AI Feedback tool.
 

 

If You Need Support

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741