Montana                                                                                              Carinthia

                                                                                           the mountains are towering above,

        constantly crowding me in

sometimes it feels like there’s just too much space

for me to make any use of

                                                                                           

I’m becoming tired of all the words I’m hearing                   How will I ever fully understand all of the   

                                                                                         words I’m hearing    

                                                                                         

I want to live in a city

that’s older than my country

                                                                                     

I forget that the ground I’m walking on is old enough.

 

I’m going to fall in love somewhere                                 What is there to love about this place?

 

I’m not reaching my potential here.                                     There is no use for me here.

                                          

                                                                                        I want to wrap this year around myself like a

                                                                                        blanket, and stay there under this false

                                                                                        sense of security that where you are is what  

                                                                                        makes you happy     

 

Maybe I’m not happy anywhere.                                        Maybe all I need is oxygen

                                                                                       and my own two feet to take

                                                                                       me to the next beautiful thing

 

I feel joy in moments.

Like when I’m looking at the snowcapped mountains         or swimming in glacial lakes or stumbling out

                                                                                      on the city streets at 3:00 am with my best

                                                                                      friends

 

I want to feel like I belong everywhere                             I want to feel disconnected from everything.

“Too foreign for home                                                      too foreign for here

Never enough for both.”

 

                                             

I think I’m the only home I need.