Give a baby a hundred-dollar bill

She’ll shove it in her mouth

And immediately spit it out

Because she’d rather suck her own thumb

She hates the taste of strangers’ fingers

That is just gross to her

 

Give a child a hundred-dollar bill

He’ll shove it in his pocket

And he won’t spend it

Because if he spends it

He can’t tell all his friends

That he has a hundred-dollar bill

 

Give a preteen a hundred-dollar bill

She’ll shove it in her purse

And head straight to the mall

Because if she has a hundred dollars

She can buy a giant stuffed animal

That she’ll throw out in a year

 

Give a college student a hundred-dollar bill

He’ll shove it back in your face

And wonder if he made the right choice

Because even though he’s broke

He wants to pretend to himself

That he’s a successful adult

 

If a hundred dollar bill is as useful to you

As it is to a baby

or a child

or a preteen

Do you really need that fifth house?

While prosperity is lovely, greed is not

So successful adults, hear me out:

 

Give more students hundred-dollar bills

We’ll love the alleviated stress

And we’ll be able to focus on our studies

Because we all want to do great things but

We need your spare change in order to change so

That we become successful adults