Today's teen girl wears yoga pants and scarves
"One PSL to go, no whip, low fat,
Take a selfie for the road, no filter, #blessed
Ugh, I look so rough, #diealonewithcats"
Girl, understand, your bf will call you back
Yes, we totes love your gel nails in black
But you're, like, totally, the definition
Of #firstworldprobs dominating the nation
Jay-rot-see cadet, how do your BDU's treat ya?
Annual weapons training already coming at ya
About face, present arms, order arms, attention
This is all great, but just what is your mission?
How does it benefit you and your nation
To spend your time putting your brass into position?
I'm just saying, you graduate next year,
Unless you join up, wasted time is what I fear
Hello random horse girl
Messy braid and callused hands
It's a rough world
Train horses, fight the land
When your favorite horse dumps you in the mud
Surely you wonder in that hour
Is this animal worth the sweat, tears, and blood?
Or should you throw in the towel, and actually take a shower?
Geek, oh, lonely little geek
You have no idea what it is to be on fleek
Your walls are plastered with posters, yes they are
But they're maps and aliens, instead of movie stars
You watch tons of TV shows, that's how you get your fun
Which is why your skin has never seen the sun
You laugh at memes, you create silly gifs
And stay in with Netflix instead of watching the eclipse
Professional girl, with your hair in a bun
You look smart, like you know a ton
You're cool, and calm, ready for an interview
And public speaking is clearly nothing new
But underneath, you don't have it all together
Your opinion, so firmly stated, is as changeable as the weather
And smart? No, you left your brain at home
You can fake it though, you'll make it, you hope
Now, before you get all upset
And fly to correct me on a supersonic jet
Know that it's not you that I'm tearing apart
These are the questions I ask myself in my heart
All of those girls, they are a picture of me
And somehow I hope they will combine into a lady
I'm aware of the hilarity of this combination
And I write this to laugh at the apparent contradictions.
None of those people is entirely perfect
Nor is the person that is the final composite
But I can laugh at myself, and I hope you will too
At the foibles that are part of this American youth
Because silly as each of those people are
They form the foundation of a sincere heart
I hope to serve God, family, and country well
As each facet of my personality will tell