I am... and I will make it count

I am sunlight streaming through the window above my bed

I am stardust from the beginning of the universe

I am moonbeams in the darkest of nights

I am a collection of miracles and pretty things

I am the daughter of Aztecs, Moors, and Spaniards

I am desperate to know who they were and what they felt

I am in dire need to tie myself to them, to anchor myself in their certainty

I hunger for a home I have not known, a family long dead

I am a collection of genetic code from people who transcended it

I am every episode of my grandfather’s PTSD and every beating my grandmother endured

I am my parents’ struggle to make it in the world, to survive and to live

I am my great-grandmother, sleeping in the tortilla factory where she worked to make ends meet

I am a collection of sacrifices and endurance

I am young and new to this world, and I always will be

I am fearful of every word, knowing that I am stronger than I seem

I am reckless, vengeful, and downright childish

I am a collection of unbridled passion

I am protective of the family I have found

I am the blood of our covenant, thicker than the water of the wombs we came from

I am gifted unconditional care and thankful for it

I am a collection of their strength and their love

I am sand, slipping through my own fingers

I am outspoken and scared and strong

I am solid as diamonds and just as sharp

I am quiet and confident and weak

I am everything in a recipe I do not the details of

But I know the world will only ever have this one

And I will make it count