I am prisoner to Insecurity.
How do I get out? How do I set myself free?
Insecurity has a friend: Anxiety.
Anxiety is worse than Insecurity.
I’m not sure how I came to know them, but now I can’t set myself free from the toxic relationships I hold with them.
I am passionate about many things.
I love to read, I love to write, I love to dance in the rain,
But Insecurity tells me, like a scared little voice in the back of my head,
“Stop, people are looking; keep quiet, don’t let your true self show.”
Anxiety says nothing.
It just holds me back, trapping me in its cage of worry and doubt, which turns to sorrow and helplessness.
I want to make human connection.
I want to grow up and marry,
Find the one I love.
I often think to myself, will Insecurity let me do that? What if Anxiety cripples me? Will I be able to get back up? Will I be a slave to them forever?
These thoughts constantly swirl through my mind,
Blurring the past and the future, making more vivid the fake future that Anxiety continuously pounds into my head.
Can I ever live a normal life?
Be free from anxiety?
Insecurity suddenly seems like less of a threat to me.
But Anxiety, Anxiety controls my thoughts, stunts my actions.
I am a good person, but I want to be better.
Anxiety does not have the same ideas for me.
Anxiety does not want me to grow, to learn, to love.
It wants to be my only love.
Anxiety is selfish.
Anxiety is mean.
Anxiety is cruel.
When will I ever be free from Anxiety?
I recently made some new friends.
Hope and Faith are their names.
They are kind friends.
They are good to me and would never do anything to hurt me.
They lift me and tell me that I can keep on going,
That if I can just make it to tomorrow and keep making it to tomorrow, I can do anything.
Hope gives me the stamina to hold on and the knowledge that I can do hard things.
Faith often reminds me that everything will work out even if it doesn’t seem okay at the moment. Faith teaches me to trust,
Hope teaches me to love,
And both teach me to never give up.
Anxiety and insecurity still come around, but now I know that I can stand up to them.
I have replaced them with new friends and they are furious,
But I don’t care.
There is nothing they can do to hurt me now.
I have hope and faith, and I have always had love,
All of them cheering me on in the sidelines.
I am strong.