I am the human contradiction

i have no self confidence,

yet i have a massive ego.

i want to turn my life around,

yet i want to die.

i want people to think i have no weakness,

yet all i want to do is cry.

i want to be the best at everything

but i dont want to try.

I want to stop hurting myself,

but thats all I seem to do.

I don't want people seeing my scars

yet i want them to know I'm scared.

when i wake up i want to be happy,

but i dont want to wake up anymore.