I can't even look at you

I can't think of you

I can't have anything to do with you

Or else the memories come

I don't want to remember

I want to forget it all

Start with a clean slate

I've grown tired

Of the pit in my stomach

As I partially look forward

To passing by you

But knowing all too well

You won't even look at me

Even though I know you see me

You won't meet my eyes

Won't offer a smile

And I can't stop the feeling

Of wanting to envelope myself

In your arms

To feel the stability of your chest

To feel safe

In a world that wants to consume me

I feel like I'm going to drown

That the floor will swallow me

And sometimes I wish

That it would

I wish I couldn't see you anymore

I wish I didn't have to look at you

And remember every single

Feeling of not being good enough

Every tear I shed over you

Someone who won't even look me in the eye

You know I'm hurting

You remember everything that I do

Yet you choose to ignore it

I suppose some people

Are better at ignoring the pain

Than others