I Only Want What I Can't Have
I wanted to write him a poem,
a creation as intelligent and complex as he is
something that could spark his interest
and render him speechless
I wished to make this pen beat against the paper
the way my heart stutters when he is near
Shall I empty my veins into inkwells?
A shallow attempt at bringing these words to life
but I would, just for the possiblity that he would read them
or maybe for the hope that they moved him
But how could words that are thrown together so carelessly
and frequently and inappropriately influence him?
I refuse to use the word love when it is bastardized
to discribe any emotion stronger than like and
I shall not substitute my heart for my mind when I know
that though my heart beats when he's near
my mind instructs it to do so
As you can see, my hands have been tied for me
to think and feel as I do, yet unable to rest on unreliable words
But I always content myself with imagining you reading this
and wondering who I am.