I was delusional and I still am
My biggest fear
is that I'll never feel that way again
I remember Every. Single. Second
of him.
The only question I can ever ask
is why?
Why can I turn it all back on
with a single instant?
Why am I able to go back in time,
to go back to him?
This isn't even a love story
It's a never-loved story
It's a one-sided love story
and to this day I don't understand it
I don't understand how one person can be
uncontrollably, magnificently, forever
what I can only describe as "in love"
with someone and not have their feelings returned
I would have- I still would
Give my life for his
and that doesn't make any sense.
My biggest fear is that I'll never feel that way again.
that simply sitting next to another human being
will never again give me
that hummingbird heartbeat
All I needed was
his smile
his hug
his voice
his existence
And all the shadows and nightmares
would disappear.
Now it's been 2 years since I've seen you last
That night when you asked me to dance
and I declined in fear that it was a joke
When all I really wanted was to be next to you
and you could tell, because you always could.