If I ruled the afterlife:

If I ran the afterlife, I would host a party every night,
Keep my guests on cloud nine,
And have something for everyone's delight.
I would build a mansion to make Vanderbilt feel poor,
And fill the pool with the softest puppies.
I would grow a beard long enough to travel a mile.

If I were emperor of the afterlife,
I would meet all the people who died long before I met them.
In fact, you haven't lived until you met me.
I would write music with Mozart,
Paint paintings with Michaelangelo,
Direct films with Hitchcock.
But the arts are for the birds.

If I ruled the afterlife, I would be awesome.
I would fool with mortal affairs.
All for my own entertainment
Wham!
Snow in the Sahara, and sand in Antarctica.
And then I would create new websites like:

Surprise-Ninjas-dot-com

Oh, the food,
If I was king of the afterlife, I would,
Eat the clouds I live on themselves,
I hear they taste like cotton candy,
And if they don't, I'd make them taste like it.

I would gain weight,
Faster than Rosie O'Donnell
And lose it all quicker than Usain Bolt.
Yeah, I went there.
Just like I would have gone to Atlantis,
If I ruled the afterlife.

If I was in charge of the afterlife,
It would be in my own head.
Just to make the world feel small.
I would create a giant lizard to attack Tokyo,
And then name it something like:
Notzilla
Because that's irony,
Like that superzero with loads of cash and a moustache,
I think he goes by the Steel Man or the man of iron.
Maybe his name would be Tony Klark or Kent Stark.
If I owned the afterlife,
I would write a poem,
About it all,
My lines would be genius
Like they deserve their own genus and species
The rhymes would be so preposterous
You feel the awesomeness.
Hippopotamus.