If You Only Knew

Wed, 06/12/2019 - 16:13 -- krog66

Over 140,00 students stay home from school a day due to bullying

Bullying has become more complex over the years

Now people hide behind their computer or phone screens

Throwing the ever taunting words at the person on the other side

Suicide is the third leading cause of death in teenagers and adolescents

 

People will call you

Fat

Stupid

Psychotic

Ugly

Worthless

Unlovable

Some people will even say

They want you gone

 

But even when those words and insults are heard

Know that they are not true

Because even if you see yourself as

Fat

Stupid

Psychotic

Ugly

Worthless

Unlovable

You are not

 

You could be rich or poor

You could be on the highest level of happiness or one step from ending it all

You could be underweight or overweight

You could be abused

Or

You could have, what you believe is the greatest life

And not fathom the fact

That people would rather be hit

Than having to listen to the words

Not only because bruises are evidence

Because the physical pain goes away

There are all types of people in this world

But they are all the same in the eyes of God

 

I know what it’s like to bullied to the point that you don’t even want to exist

I know what it’s like to self harm even though I haven’t done it in months

I know what’s it’s like to sit there and comtemplate suicide

I know what it’s like to attempt suicide and have that feeling of why am I here

I knkow what it’s like to want to be hit instead of yelled at

I know what it’s like see and hear things that are not real

I know what it’s like to have some unreal human tell you to leave this earth

I know what it’s like to be depressed and just always sad

I know what it’s like to have anxiety to the point that just asking for a pen

Is like asking to tell your deepest, darkest secret

I know what it’s like when your own head turns against you

I know what it’s like to be scared of yourself

I know what it’s like to sit in the emergency room as psychiatric intake comes in and says

“You’re being admitted.”

I know what it’s like to hear therapists say, “You have to go to long term.”

Which is pretty much saying that you’re in a facility for months to longer to that

I know what it’s like to sit there in long term wondering when you can leave

Even though you know it’s the best option for you

I know what it’s like to be judged because of your mental illness

I know what it’s like to not be listened to when you need the most

 

Listen even though it might

Make your ears bleed

Or your eyes cry

You might change a life

You might even save a life

 

I also know what it’s like to come out of that darkness and into the light

No, it’s not easy

No, it’s not a walk in the park

But you can do it

 

Most people don’t know

That I survived bullyed throughout schooling

From kindergarten to the beginning of my eleventh grade year

Most people don’t know

That I had my first suicidal ideation at the age of eight

Most people don’t know

That I’ve struggled with anxiety and depression since I was thirteen

Most people don’t know

That I have tried to commit suicide seven times

From August of 2017 to July of 2018

Most people don’t know

That I almost didn’t make it

 

But

Most people also don’t know

I came out the other side

Stronger and healthier

Most people don’t know

That I have five tattoos

Meaning about my struggle

 

People don’t understand mental illness

Even though

You might be sitting somewhere

Comtemplating ending it all

Self harming

There is hope

I know there is

God got me through it

He can get you through it also

 

Pray to Him

Believe in Him

Have faith in Him

You can get through this

I know you can

 

This poem is about: 
Me
My community

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